Girls Locker Room
I could never get dressed in time
I always showed up late
I’m still lost on how to love
How to feel
How to exist
I lace up boots for 10 minutes
I walk down hallways thinking about that song
12 years later he’s in my bed pulling me on top of him
“you’re going to die” he says.
We went to the beach
I lost my keys,
things were falling apart
and i knew it.
I lied in my underwear next to you.
You held my hand while we walked on the boardwalk in jeans that didn’t fit me.
In the car:
you pushed me down on the bed
you’d hold me down and cover my mouth
you tell me to be quiet
but i couldn’t
your weight on me.
it was my birthday
you said you wanted to go see her
We sat in the Portland Rose Gardens
You held my hand on the plane.
We lie in bed in the hotel on SW 11th without touching
Then we were in separate bedrooms in Brooklyn, talking awkwardly over Chinese food on 86th & 4th.
I call & you say “I’m engaged”.
“That Chinese food place is on fire right now”.