this was the first year i really felt it necessary to stuff pints of bourbon into my pants for periodic breaks in the bathroom in between heated debates about Obama and Playboy. my cousin has the right idea, stoned out of his mind playing with mashed potatoes that keep missing his mouth. he alternates from staring into space and mumbling memorable one liners about his father in between bites. my mom brings up Playboy Playmates and lapses into a 20 minute lecture about how all nude models are mentally ill an disgusting. there is yelling and what the fucks spilling out of my brother’s mouth until for the first time all evening my uncle looks up from his wine glass and says God created naked. Man created shame

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