New York:He say…

New York:
He says
 I’m sitting on the street. I thought of you. You remind me of New York.

Los Angeles:
Vomiting in a bath tub
My hand  being held

I’m coming over I say to him
Everyone knows something is wrong Heather

Sweaty on a bed, eyes glassed, blood we both ignore
Disappear into the bathroom
I’m clean he says
Lying is the only thing we have in common

New York again, this time it’s him
Stay with me, I’m sober now

Terminal 4
JFK
Sitting on a bag
There’s an A train involved
I refer to him as Long Island when he answers the phone

Why don’t you have a suitcase he says pulling on a black T Shirt
Because there’s nothing else that I need here

ascend a staircase
he takes your hand
lay you down in his bed
satin
black hair clutched in between fingers to assuage those thoughts inside
bite down
and we’re really neither here nor there

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Greenpoint,

I walked under the BQE past parked cars

from the L train in that dress you bought for me

My hands cold

We meet at that diner

sitting on the sidewalk

I said:

just leave me here

alone

1999

Girls Locker Room

I could never get dressed in time

3 minutes

I always showed up late

I’m still lost on how to love

How to feel

How to exist

I lace up boots for 10 minutes

I walk down hallways thinking about that song

12 years later he’s in my bed pulling me on top of him

“you’re going to die” he says.

“yes”

you too

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Life:

May:

We went to the beach

I lost my keys,

things were falling apart

and i knew it.

I lied in my underwear next to you.

You held my hand while we walked on the boardwalk in jeans that didn’t fit me.

In the car:

Silence,

Los Angeles.

August:

you pushed me down on the bed

you’d hold me down and cover my mouth

you tell me to be quiet

but i couldn’t

your weight on me.

it was my birthday

you said you wanted to go see her